A Galactic Traveller's Clipboard

Observations of the average galactic tourist.

Category Archives: Consumables

The product of modified sweat glands.

Butter or death.

Margarine is for oiling machinery it tastes akin to.


Alternatively, more neurons would work.

Dear Homo sapiens,

Before attempting your so-called cinnamon ‘challenge’, please make sure you have evolved out of using saliva glands.

– A revolted intergalactic traveller.

There is magic in the kitchen.

Specimen6427 is capable of making quite a decent omelette (an egg dish). This is perhaps currently the only thing in its favour.

Same results from cones and cups.

‘Ice-cream’ is a strange cold consumable that triggers extreme delirious waves of euphoria in some Homo sapiens.

Wash, crack, heat.

One of the delicacies of Earth–should any other far-flung intergalactic traveller find itself there–are the eggs of the local ‘birds’.

‘Birds’ are a large group of odd varied creatures that are covered in complex evolved hair. Most of these creatures are capable of controlled flight, making them a decent challenge to obtain by oneself. However, Homo sapiens domesticate these birds for meat, their strange hair and eggs.

On their own, the wet contents of eggs are richly nutritious and flavourful. Homo sapiens prefer to cook this in general, and I find this version far more palatable to eggs from other planets thus far.

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